Riding the Waves

When do we get to the flat water?

I love whitewater rafting. I went down the Lower New River in West Virginia on my first rafting trip when I was in high school, and I was hooked. I rafted the Upper and Lower New several times, had a guide tell me how to read the water to see where the rocks and shallows were, and even convinced him to let me guide the raft through a little Class II rapid. I organized rafting trips with my girlfriends and their friends, and there are few things I love more than going down the river in a raft full of fun, strong, amazing women.

After a few trips, we decided to tackle the Upper Gauley River. Whitewater season is about six weeks in the fall, when the Summersville Dam is opened, and the Upper Gauley is often classed as one of the top ten whitewater runs in the world, with five to six giant Class V rapids and at least as many Class IV rapids. It’s big and fast and technical, with boulders and undercut rocks throughout. “Carnage,” as they call raft flips and mishaps, are common, which is fun to watch (if not experience)—as long as you don’t think about the fact that people do die on the Gauley.

Our first trip down the Upper Gauley was terrifying fun. We managed safe, conservative lines through the big rapids and drops, did some whitewater surfing, and only had a big spill out of the boat on “Fluffy Box of Kittens,” a little corkscrew rapid that flips you into a nice pool of flat water. The mantra of whitewater enthusiasts is “No Flat Water!”, but a gentle swim after navigating about 10 miles of raging rapids does feel pretty good.

Our second trip leaned a little harder on the terrifying elements. When we hit the first Class V rapid, ironically named “Insignificant,” one of the women fell out and had to swim through the rapid before we could safely collect her. The next Class V is “Pillow Rock,” which requires a precise paddle from right to left across the river and then a fairly sharp cut back to the right to avoid various boulders and undertow.

Our guide told us to paddle hard—and we did. He seemed to underestimate just how hard a raft of women could paddle, however, and we zipped across the river and up on to the rock before he got us steered back to the right. What goes up must come down … and in this case, our raft that went up on the rock fell upside down, spilling all of us through the rapid.

By the time we were safely back in the raft, my friend Jen was ready to bail on the rest of this river adventure. “There are THREE more of these huge rapids?? We’re not even halfway? Is there any other way off this river??!!” The guide told her, “Sure—you can get out here and we can call a helicopter to come get you, if you want to pay for that.” Jen decided she would grit her teeth and ride it out. By the time we got to “Fluffy Box of Kittens,” we told our guide that we’d happily skip that corkscrew, thankyouverymuch, and just stick to some nice boring flat water.

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More Whitewater

I keep thinking that the nice boring flat water of my cancer treatment is just ahead, the stretch where I take my tablets and work on trying to improve my mobility and then we get a scan to see how everything is working. But little rapids keep popping up, some nice and fun and some a bit more challenging.

A few days before my physiotherapy appointment last week, I started having significant pain in my left leg whenever I would try to put weight on it. I could sit or stand, but walking was very difficult. I was afraid that the physio—who was indeed Jenny the Angel—would decide I was not worthy of additional treatment options or exercise plans. But in fact Jenny was very positive; despite the pain, I have gotten much stronger, and she’s pleased with my progress. We talked about my goals and how I could get there, and she even said: “You could go back to the gym! What gym were you at?” I said, “The CrossFit gym …” and she laughed and said, “Yeah, probably not that one—but you could go to a regular gym” and I laughed and said, “Yeah, I don’t think we can scale an Olympic barbell lift for me!” and she laughed and said, “That’s OK for now! I’ll send you a workout plan and we’ll see how that goes.”

Jenny also thought I should contact the oncologist about the pain I was having, given the locations of my (many, various) tumors. I talked to him the next day, and he agreed that the pain is almost certainly from the tumor that we had biopsied, and it was worth tackling that one more aggressively. He recommended a course of radiotherapy to get that tumor shrinking faster, with the hope of pain relief and then the ability to launch my workout plan from Jenny.

But this stretch of whitewater wasn’t over yet! The day after talking to the oncologist, the chemo unit called to say that my white blood cells are still not bouncing back enough. I’m having more blood work done tomorrow to keep a closer eye on them.

The fun part of this whitewater patch is that my tumor markers remain very encouraging, Jenny thinks I’m getting stronger, and there might be some more pain relief on the horizon.

The challenging part is that I’m back to radiotherapy. I went for my prep appointment Monday, where I asked if they had a frequent flyer program or at least a punch card—do 10 sessions and get a free smoothie! They do not, unfortunately. I got more dot tattoos. They said they still are not offering panda designs. (At this rate, I might be able to get some kind of nifty connect-the-dots pattern!) They assured me that radiotherapy is often very helpful for alleviating pain for this tumor site, and told me my yellow Converse were awesome. I told them that my wonderful friends and loved ones around the world are wearing yellow shoes to support and pray for me. And then we said, “See you next week!” with enthusiasm, like we were planning a book club or coffee gathering. My treatment will start on Monday and be every day next week.

Prayer Requests

-       That this radiotherapy will help alleviate the pain so that I can progress with physical therapy.

-       That I will not have significant side effects from the radiotherapy treatment.

-       For my white blood cells to recover more quickly.

-       For safe and smooth travels for my parents, who are planning to arrive next week.

Joy Nuggets

I can’t possibly list everything that has brought me joy in the past few days. I was able to see a few friends I hadn’t seen in a long time. I sat outside in the sunshine. And all of the notes, emails, cards, songs, photos, meditations, and more from the incredible people I am blessed to know! My friend in Texas sent me a card with taco stickers! I almost wept with joy at the delight of her thinking to add taco stickers. And I haven’t even gotten to the amazing things produced by my talented friends who pray with their hands and create art and crochet and needlepoint pieces that are filled with meaning and love. See! This list is already getting long!

I’ll close with a photo of this darling joy nugget incarnate, sweet angel Gabriel at his two-year-old birthday party (and his super awesome mom!).