Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow
Not remission, but a reprieve
I’ve procrastinated on posting an update from my last scans and oncology appointment. The procrastination itself is unsurprising—if procrastination were a gift, I’d make it to the finals of Britain’s Got Talent. If it were a superpower, I’d be an Avenger. I have Grade A+, genius-level capacity for procrastination. And so it is more serendipity—or providence, or kismet—than design that I’m writing on Trinity Sunday, the day in the church calendar to celebrate our belief in and focus our worship toward one God in three persons.
For me, the Trinity is essential to make sense of all existence. God is inherently relationship—from which overflows boundless love and goodness that creates, redeems, and sustains. To use the phrase of theologian Catherine Mowry LaCugna, the Trinity names how God is God for us.
If God is perfect relationship, and we are created in the image of God, then the doctrine of the Trinity is concerned with our life as well. We are called by divine grace to enter into that mode of loving relationship that defines God's very being. … It was the early Christian experience of God's saving action through Christ and in the Spirit, not abstract reflection, that gave rise to Trinitarian doctrine.
LaCugna also highlighted that the Trinity should focus our attention on doxology—the praise of God. “It is the Holy Spirit at work in our hearts that moves us to prayer and worship as we unite ourselves with Christ in offering praise to God.” As she provocatively puts it, “Sin … is the absence of praise.”
What might this all feel serendipitous—or providential—for an update today? First, a biographical note: Catherine LaCugna died of breast cancer at the age of 44. She knew that Trinity was not a theological puzzle or academic abstraction. The Trinity—God for us—makes life possible, makes love possible, makes praise possible, makes eternal life possible.
Second, I love LaCugna’s emphasis on praise. For her, doxology was possible even when suffering. What I love most about Trinity Sunday is not the intellectual pondering (and definitely not the often dreadful analogies) to “make sense of” the Trinity. I love the worship, the hymns, the prayers, and the Scripture texts of this day:
He will feed his flock like a shepherd;
he will gather the lambs in his arms
and carry them in his bosom
and gently lead the mother sheep.Who has measured the waters of the sea in the hollow of his hand
and marked off the heavens with a span,
enclosed the dust of the earth in a measure
and weighed the mountains in scales
and the hills in a balance?
Who has directed the spirit of the Lord
or as his counselor has instructed him?
Whom did he consult for his enlightenment,
and who taught him the path of justice?
Who taught him knowledge
and showed him the way of understanding?Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint
and strengthens the powerless.
Even youths will faint and be weary,
and the young will fall exhausted,
but those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.
—Isaiah 40:11–14, 28–31
God is love. God is for us. How can we not overflow with this love and praise?
Treatment Update
My own cancer update today is a taste of God’s goodness and love, and provides an opportunity for gratitude and praise. As the call-and-response reminds us, “God is good / All the time // All the time / God is good.” And as my pastor William Turner always added, “especially today.”
Scans: Stable! No evidence of progression!
Targeted Therapy: Indefinite hiatus!
When I resumed my targeted therapy after a break of a few months, my white blood count promptly plummeted. It remained too low to get the next dose. The oncologist decided it was time to stop this treatment—I’ve been stable long enough, and have been on such a low dose, and have still had significant side effects including the suppressed white blood count. So it’s reasonable to conclude that I’m getting all the toxicity and fatigue for very little benefit.
Rather than start a different targeted therapy now, he recommends that we just continue my primary treatment as long as I’m stable. Should progression mean that it’s necessary to change treatment, we’ll still have all the targeted therapy options available.
I’m delighted by this: Not only do I have a break from the targeted therapy side effects, but it also means that I only need quarterly scans and bone strengthening infusions rather than monthly blood checks and medication trips to the Chemo Day Unit.
Physically, I feel the best that I’ve felt in over two years. Mentally, the effects of cancer treatment take up less thought space, whether about scheduling appointments or managing around side effects. Emotionally, I’ve swung from dancing to crying, both with relief and joy and gratitude. I pray that the disease will stay sleepy and stable and even shrinking for a very long time.
Getting Closer to Jump Time
As many of you know, my son Evan will be doing a skydive in order to raise money for Make 2nds Count, a charity that funds research and supports patients with secondary breast cancer in the UK. I’ve seen firsthand the important work this charity has done, including funding over £646,000 in research over the past five years. As one fellow patient told me recently, “Evan says he’s doing this for you—but he’s doing this for all of us.” An enormous thank you to everyone who has donated already. If you’re interested and want to learn more, here’s the link to his fundraising page.
Local friends: If you’d like to come watch Evan’s skydive in Glenrothes on the morning of 16 July, let me know! We’d love to have you join us, and there might even be treats and festivities!
A prayer of blessing based on Romans 15:13 (from the Rev. Stephen Froggatt):
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit; and the Blessing of God, the Holy Three-in-One, be with you, and all those whom you love, and all those who love you, today and always. Amen.
Dear Heather,
Thank you friend! Scott and I are crying with joy! Great news and precious thoughts about the trinity.
Your example of trust makes me sing in worship.
That you feel better than you have in two years will make me smile and shout every time I think of you....which is often!😚♥️👏🎉
I absolutely loved this post! Not only am I thrilled for you that things are going as well as they are but I also found your Trinitarian reflections moving and uplifting - and, in my view for what it's worth, they point us to the very heart of all that matters! You are the most inspiring witness to all of us who have the privilege of knowing you, Heather. Warmest wishes and many thanks!